Not long ago I wrote an article titled The Pitcher and The Container. I wrote about self development as structured or private, on participating in self awareness seminar and workshops, on learning our life lessons.
The article received a lot of comments, remarks and questions. To my great surprise some of the comments were in a line and of a character I had not expected. These comments made me think and think hard. That’s why I like comments on what I write, no matter where.
I have been involved with what I will here call “structured” personal development for more than 25 years. And like with so many things in life I take it for granted that people know, what that stands for.
From the comments I realized that what I understand as self development and conscious awareness is not what others understand. When I talk about being involved in personal development I mean structured personal development such as participating in workshops, seminars or home study programs, where the purpose is to bring awareness and clearer understanding to what we do, how we think and why, and the influence it has on our lives.
Often when I tell people about my involvement in self awareness and development, I notice their facial expressions or even outright saying stuff like: You are crazy! Who needs that kind of thing? I am fine the way I am.
I never argue. What’s the point?
Beginnings of Conscious Self Awareness
The fact is that I have been involved in self development for much longer. This is something we all do. It begins the moment we become consciously aware of ourselves and our surroundings. So we are all involved in self development, what I here will call “private” self development.
We must develop. It would be tragic, if we stayed the same our whole lives. If that is the case, it means we are not learning. We are not learning from life or accepting our life lessons. Only once did I meet someone, who at a young age had taken a decision not to develop. He had suffered unbearable traumas as a child, and could just not handle them. His only way of handling was to ignore everything that life presented to him. This is a very rare case indeed.
The Two Self Developments
Structured personal development to me is participating in a program in one form or another. It can be the purchase of a program and listen, watch, read through it on a home study basis. There is a proliferation of them today, some better some less so.
It can be buying a book on the subject. The market abounds with books on higher awareness and self development.
It can be participating in seminars or workshops, on line or off line, or it can be one on one coaching.
This form of self development is built around the philosophy and techniques as developed by the presenter. Though they all have the same purpose, higher conscious awareness, they differ in techniques and the material presented.
Books tend to be more specific, meaning that they usually deal with one particular area for self development. Home study programs usually come as DVD, mp3 or pdf files, or often as a combination of all three. They are therefore more diversified and can touch on many areas of life. Workshops and seminars tend to be broad based. One on one coaching is often built around one particular objective.
Private self development is part of life. It’s part of who we are and one of the reasons for our existence. It’s an extension of our natural curiosity to always know more. But private self development has its limits. You can only develop according to what life throws at you. You are not in control of what experience you are looking for.
When dealing with the life lessons as they come, you may end up taking the wrong path, or not learn the lesson at all. In private self development we are often unprepared, when a lesson is thrown at us. We are also very much under the influence of others around us, our peer groups, family etc. Each one of them may have what they consider your best interest at heart. However your lessons are not their lessons, and they may inadvertently take you down the wrong path or even stop you all together from learning the life lesson.
After all their reality is not your reality. And anyway reality is not as we see it, reality is how we see it.
This same drawback is also evident when using home study courses and books. These are only as good as the actions taken and maintained by the reader or listener. I have myself been guilty of learning something new, applied it, and after a certain period of time, I found myself back (almost) where I was when I started. We easily slip back into old habits.
One of my great early lessons in participating in consciousness self development seminars and workshops was the definition of insanity:
To do what you have always done, and expect different results – that’s insanity
But there is an addition to this:
Do more of what works for you;
Do less of what does not work for you;
Always try new things
Be The Conscious Co-Creator of Life
But why do we need self development? Aren’t we just perfect the way we are?
We are the best we know how to be at all times, or at least we should strive for that. Notice the word “strive”. This is such an innate human trait – to strive for more. Show me someone who does not want more in any sphere of life. I don’t believe such a person exists.
None of us would be, where we are, if it was not for this urge to be more. Life is the greatest lesson and teacher there is. Up till now it has been expected that we find our way through it by instinct and whatever learning we pick up on the way.
I wonder if that would be a good attitude in any profession? I think not. In our professional lives we are expected to have a basic education, but also to keep up with new developments within our particular field.
Why should it be different with life?
Participating in workshops, seminars and one on one coaching gives structure to the learning. There is a curriculum to be followed and completed. It gives a safe environment to put into practice, what has been taught. It is a safe environment to implement the above saying (“try new things”). It gives support from the group or individuals. New relationships and connections often spring out of such events.
But most of all it gives you the choice of what, how and how much to develop. You decide what aspect of you, your traits, your habits are working for you, and which are not.
The purpose of any self development program is to enable you to take a look at yourself, to be as conscious as possible about yourself and your life, to be able to make conscious choices on what life lessons to work through, sometimes even when. It shows the way to become the creator of who you are and what you can do, be and have in life, and give you the tools to achieve it. In a way you are now the conscious co-creator of your life.
My name is Birte Edwards. I am a guide, coach and entrepreneur as an Internet Marketing Consultant. I love writing and do so on various subjects related to my fields of interest and expertise. For more on subjects related to above, visit http://bit.ly/1G7NDXP
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